[How is it possible? From 687.27 miles away, to affect a friendship that has never before felt outside pressure? I hate romantic relationships. (Other people's, of course, not ever having been involved in one myself.) But I can't help but wonder about the whole thing, Is this maybe beneficial? It is, after all, the last attachment to here that I felt would be difficult to overcome... It's true: suffering is caused by attachment. If I regarded him as equally important/unimportant as anyone/everyone else, this would not even be an issue.]

Daniel and I rented The White Countess last night, but we didn't get all the way through it. That seems to be always the way it goes; we get a movie when it's too late for both of us to stay awake the whole way through. Well, he's busy, and I can accept that and not feel trivialised... Except when he's forty minutes later than expected because of a phone call. Good lord. I'm sort of becoming a doormat again and not admitting that it pissed me off/was distressing. I used to expect that sort of thing from Jacob... See? See what love interests do to an otherwise sublime and stable friendship? It's been a while now since I decided that pursuing romantic relationships was more trouble than it was worth, but I'm sort of starting to apply that idea to any sort of interpersonal relationship. (Oh, look. Borderline personality disorder is characterised by "frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment" and "a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation".)

I really have to get a handle on myself. And also, a legit diagnosis would help me come to terms and stop self-diagnosing. Good thing I have therapy this week.

(Oh, goodness. Am I going to have to make this journal Friends Only? I've never done anything of the sort before, but these entries are growing increasingly... Something.)

Incidentally: my strep sort of came and went again this weekend. I hope this isn't something that's going to continue.

Artist: ilovedaisyw
Author: melandry
Title: The Heat of Human Contact
Rating: R, I think. It’s slightly short of being porn.
Summary: Frost on the windowpanes. (blanketforts day 15.)
Notes: This is a manga-style illustrated companion piece to dear melandry’s fic, which can be found here. (As such, it is read right to left, top to bottom.) Coincidentally, the original fic was dedicated to me. ^^ Cross-posted.
Dedication: Darling (and I should hope you know who you are), be mine.

( heat )